The "I Do's" Of A Wedding Gift:

Wedding season is upon us and after getting a request to blog about wedding gifts I thought why not?

I have done some research on various sites regarding the etiquette of wedding gift giving. Please note that this post is only about the actual wedding gift not the shower, bachelorete etc gift. (I’ll post about those later.)

The first thing about giving any gift is the timing. According to Emily Post you should “send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter”. As I just got married here are some tips – it’s easier if you send the gift rather than bring it to the wedding to avoid any loss or damages. Many people state that you have a year to give a wedding gift. I agree with Emily Post that “it really should be sent right away of within three months of the wedding”. It makes the entire process of thank you note writing much easier.

So what do you give the bride and groom? In the Gift Giving Girlies opinion you can’t go wrong with a purchase off the registry. These are items the couple needs and wants! If the registry only has expensive big ticket items and little inexpensive items and you want to spend somewhere in between why not put together a themed gift? For example “kitchen gadgets” – buy the spatula, oven thermometer, whisk etc . . . the couple will use them and you’ll have given a cute and practical present. Or go in with friends and buy a pricey place setting of china or vacuum cleaner.

At this point you might be thinking; “but I really want to go off the registry”. As a newlywed let me say that unless you know the couple very well and are 100% sure they will LOVE that gift it’s not a great idea! Nobody enjoys getting an ugly vase or heaven forbid a re-gifted platter. That being said I did get a few wonderful off-registry gifts like homemade pottery serving pieces, special etched glass plates and a great and sentimental set of Brooklyn Bridge Bookends (we got married overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge). When in doubt use the registry.

Is it appropriate to give money? My answer is yes! It’s a generous and perfectly acceptable gift. Furthermore, it will be well received by the bride and groom. If you’re giving the money at the wedding reception try and hand it to the groom as he has pockets to store it in for safe keeping :-)

The final piece of the wedding gift puzzle is the delicate question of “what do I spend”? There is no right or wrong answer to this.

According to Betsy Goldberg, features editor at Modern Bride, “ a typical amount is $75. If you bring a date, expect to spend twice that amount.”

Spending more or less depends on how close you are with that person, if you’ll be traveling to the wedding and your personal finances. My rule of thumb is spend what you would want spent on you if the roles were reversed. If you say you’re short on cash but go out to lunch everyday think about cutting back for a week. The wedding gift is a nice gesture that says “congratulations on your marriage and thank you for including me in your special day”. If you’re invited to the wedding but do not attend it’s still polite to send a gift.

I thought it would be fun to have a little contest. Send in photos of the worst wedding gift you received. I will post the top 3 pictures and send the winner a prize. Pictures must be sent to chapetx@gmail.com by May 31st.